We almost lost our latest shipment of the WG021000 by WatchGuard. It was traveling aboard the Nostromo when we lost contact. The fate of the crew is not clear, though we believe parasitic chest-bursting alien creates were involved. Fortunately, our salvage crew was able to retrieve the shipment. They had a brief run-in with some unidentified creatures aboard the ship - but we're sure they're totally fine.
Reports that this item belonged formerly to a Mr. Wiggin are patently false (It's New). It is theoretically possible, however, that he designed it off-world some time in the far distant future and beamed the schematics back through time (and space) via tachyon transmission. Unlikely - yes, but *possible*.
Unfortunately this item is most certainly *not* capable of warping space-time, so we don't think you'll be using it to travel at superluminal velocities any time soon. We would, however, be happy to tell you what else it can do - just ask!
We're off to count our inventory of WatchGuard WG021000 again. You can never be too accurate! Holler if you need us.
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