You wouldn't believe what we had to go through to get our hands on the Vss4000 by Viper. Let's just say it involved a pair of ambiguously amorous FBI agents, their chain-smoking and conspiratorially corrupt superior, and suspicion of extra terrestrial activity. Just our typical day at the office!
So we had this crazy dream last night that everything we believed to be real was instead a figment of our imagination promulgated by an advanced race of artificially intelligent robots who were harvesting us for our brain power. Then we woke up on the floor of our warehouse where - thankfully - everything was still very real, shiny, and New. Guess we should have taken the blue pill last night.
Unfortunately this item is most certainly *not* capable of warping space-time, so we don't think you'll be using it to travel at superluminal velocities any time soon. We would, however, be happy to tell you what else it can do - just ask!
Our Infinite Improbability Drive is on the fritz again - so we're off to take a look (that thing really wreaks havoc in the warehouse). Give a whistle if you need any additional help with the Viper Vss4000 - or anything else!
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