You wouldn't believe what we had to go through to get our hands on the AR7701 by APC. Let's just say it involved a pair of ambiguously amorous FBI agents, their chain-smoking and conspiratorially corrupt superior, and suspicion of extra terrestrial activity. Just our typical day at the office!
Recently our support team has been getting calls from this Austrian fellow. Each time he asks us if this item is new - we tell him it is. He then immediately asks to speak with Mr. Connor - we tell him John doesn't work here anymore. He then hangs up stating that he'll be back. Weirdo.
While the technology employed by this item is decidedly advanced, we can confirm that it was not covertly designed by the Cylons as a backdoor into our global defense systems. If you have any other grave concerns about this item, please let us know.
A man with a pointy hat is here to see us about a ring (it seems urgent) - but we'll be close by if you need any additional help with the APC AR7701. Feel free to look around!
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