Do you ever wonder if there is doppelganger parallel universe where things are mostly the same as here, but maybe just a little bit different? There could be, for example, a 5340E by Mitel in this *other* universe that's just the same as the one sitting in our warehouse in *this* universe, except the warehouse in the *other* universe might be made of Jell-O? Yeah - that's crazy. But tasty!
We've run this thing through the transporter array a few times and can confirm that it is in fact New, and not infected with any foreign alien matter. That's what they tell us down in engineering, anyway. We really should check in with those guys to see if they've resolved their Tribble problem.
While the technology employed by this item is decidedly advanced, we can confirm that it was not covertly designed by the Cylons as a backdoor into our global defense systems. If you have any other grave concerns about this item, please let us know.
If you need us for anything (Mitel 5340E related or otherwise!) we'll be down the hall making sure Jarvis isn't overrun again by an alien uber AI.
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