We almost lost our latest shipment of the 65656-01 by Plantronics. It was traveling aboard the Nostromo when we lost contact. The fate of the crew is not clear, though we believe parasitic chest-bursting alien creates were involved. Fortunately, our salvage crew was able to retrieve the shipment. They had a brief run-in with some unidentified creatures aboard the ship - but we're sure they're totally fine.
Reports that this item belonged formerly to a Mr. Wiggin are patently false (It's New). It is theoretically possible, however, that he designed it off-world some time in the far distant future and beamed the schematics back through time (and space) via tachyon transmission. Unlikely - yes, but *possible*.
While the technology employed by this item is decidedly advanced, we can confirm that it was not covertly designed by the Cylons as a backdoor into our global defense systems. If you have any other grave concerns about this item, please let us know.
We're off to count our inventory of Plantronics 65656-01 again. You can never be too accurate! Holler if you need us.
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