We almost lost our latest shipment of the 25-162 by Gigaware. It was traveling aboard the Nostromo when we lost contact. The fate of the crew is not clear, though we believe parasitic chest-bursting alien creates were involved. Fortunately, our salvage crew was able to retrieve the shipment. They had a brief run-in with some unidentified creatures aboard the ship - but we're sure they're totally fine.
Recently our support team has been getting calls from this Austrian fellow. Each time he asks us if this item is new - we tell him it is. He then immediately asks to speak with Mr. Connor - we tell him John doesn't work here anymore. He then hangs up stating that he'll be back. Weirdo.
While the technology employed by this item is decidedly advanced, we can confirm that it was not covertly designed by the Cylons as a backdoor into our global defense systems. If you have any other grave concerns about this item, please let us know.
We're off to count our inventory of Gigaware 25-162 again. You can never be too accurate! Holler if you need us.
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