Do you ever wonder if there is doppelganger parallel universe where things are mostly the same as here, but maybe just a little bit different? There could be, for example, a ECB3500 by EnGenius in this *other* universe that's just the same as the one sitting in our warehouse in *this* universe, except the warehouse in the *other* universe might be made of Jell-O? Yeah - that's crazy. But tasty!
You know what we hate? Crummy cop-out endings. You can't lead with smoke monsters, polar bears, and a tropical island capable of time travel and then end with "oh yeah - it was basically all a dream." What a disappointment! That's why we carefully screen all our inventory to ensure *you* end up with the New product happy-ending you were expecting.
While the technology employed by this item is decidedly advanced, we can confirm that it was not covertly designed by the Cylons as a backdoor into our global defense systems. If you have any other grave concerns about this item, please let us know.
We've just had some troubling news from the Night's Watch. We'll be atop The Wall if you need any further assistance with the EnGenius ECB3500 (or anything else!).
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