We almost lost our latest shipment of the CP-CASE-7925G= by Cisco. It was traveling aboard the Nostromo when we lost contact. The fate of the crew is not clear, though we believe parasitic chest-bursting alien creates were involved. Fortunately, our salvage crew was able to retrieve the shipment. They had a brief run-in with some unidentified creatures aboard the ship - but we're sure they're totally fine.
So we had this crazy dream last night that everything we believed to be real was instead a figment of our imagination promulgated by an advanced race of artificially intelligent robots who were harvesting us for our brain power. Then we woke up on the floor of our warehouse where - thankfully - everything was still very real, shiny, and New. Guess we should have taken the blue pill last night.
Unfortunately this item is most certainly *not* capable of warping space-time, so we don't think you'll be using it to travel at superluminal velocities any time soon. We would, however, be happy to tell you what else it can do - just ask!
We're heading back in time for a bit to ensure the machines don't win. If you need help with the Cisco CP-CASE-7925G= (or anything else) and find we're already gone, just leave us a note and make sure to write down the exact date and time. When we pop back in to the present we'll check the date and time on your note and zip straight back to the moment you wrote it to assist you. Isn't technology great?