We almost lost our latest shipment of the AIR-LAP1242AG-A-K9 by Cisco. It was traveling aboard the Nostromo when we lost contact. The fate of the crew is not clear, though we believe parasitic chest-bursting alien creates were involved. Fortunately, our salvage crew was able to retrieve the shipment. They had a brief run-in with some unidentified creatures aboard the ship - but we're sure they're totally fine.
We'd like to thank Stark Enterprises for the new automatons we have handling all of our New products in the warehouse. Apparently they're based upon some new "infinity stone" technology. They're great! They do seem to be getting a bit opinionated, however.
We did have one customer report that the use of this item resulted in the creation of a rune-covered circular portal capable of connecting our world to others. Unfortunately, the "portal" turned out to be nothing more than an oversized inner-tube in the guy's backyard swimming pool. Please feel free to reach out to us with any concerns *you* may have.
If you need us for anything (Cisco AIR-LAP1242AG-A-K9 related or otherwise!) we'll be down the hall making sure Jarvis isn't overrun again by an alien uber AI.
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