The LUEZIRCS by Newfangled Networks is here with us. We've kept it secret, kept it safe.
Reports that this item belonged formerly to a Mr. Wiggin are patently false (It's New). It is theoretically possible, however, that he designed it off-world some time in the far distant future and beamed the schematics back through time (and space) via tachyon transmission. Unlikely - yes, but *possible*.
While the technology employed by this item is decidedly advanced, we can confirm that it was not covertly designed by the Cylons as a backdoor into our global defense systems. If you have any other grave concerns about this item, please let us know.
We're off to count our inventory of Newfangled Networks LUEZIRCS again. You can never be too accurate! Holler if you need us.
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