The AR2144BLK by APC is here with us. We've kept it secret, kept it safe.
You know what we hate? Crummy cop-out endings. You can't lead with smoke monsters, polar bears, and a tropical island capable of time travel and then end with "oh yeah - it was basically all a dream." What a disappointment! That's why we carefully screen all our inventory to ensure *you* end up with the New product happy-ending you were expecting.
While the technology employed by this item is decidedly advanced, we can confirm that it was not covertly designed by the Cylons as a backdoor into our global defense systems. If you have any other grave concerns about this item, please let us know.
We've just had some troubling news from the Night's Watch. We'll be atop The Wall if you need any further assistance with the APC AR2144BLK (or anything else!).
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