You wouldn't believe what we had to go through to get our hands on the COAX-CAPL by North Coast Optics. Let's just say it involved a pair of ambiguously amorous FBI agents, their chain-smoking and conspiratorially corrupt superior, and suspicion of extra terrestrial activity. Just our typical day at the office!
We've run this thing through the transporter array a few times and can confirm that it is in fact New, and not infected with any foreign alien matter. That's what they tell us down in engineering, anyway. We really should check in with those guys to see if they've resolved their Tribble problem.
We've had no reports of this item causing spontaneous temporal displacement, but if you have concerns about this (or anything else) please reach out to us (we'll check with Al).
We're off to count our inventory of North Coast Optics COAX-CAPL again. You can never be too accurate! Holler if you need us.
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