We almost lost our latest shipment of the COAX-CAPM by Newfangled Networks. It was traveling aboard the Nostromo when we lost contact. The fate of the crew is not clear, though we believe parasitic chest-bursting alien creates were involved. Fortunately, our salvage crew was able to retrieve the shipment. They had a brief run-in with some unidentified creatures aboard the ship - but we're sure they're totally fine.
Reports that this item belonged formerly to a Mr. Wiggin are patently false (It's New). It is theoretically possible, however, that he designed it off-world some time in the far distant future and beamed the schematics back through time (and space) via tachyon transmission. Unlikely - yes, but *possible*.
Unfortunately this item is most certainly *not* capable of warping space-time, so we don't think you'll be using it to travel at superluminal velocities any time soon. We would, however, be happy to tell you what else it can do - just ask!
If you need us for anything (Newfangled Networks COAX-CAPM related or otherwise!) we'll be down the hall making sure Jarvis isn't overrun again by an alien uber AI.
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