The WG50020 by WatchGuard is here with us. We've kept it secret, kept it safe.
You know what we hate? Crummy cop-out endings. You can't lead with smoke monsters, polar bears, and a tropical island capable of time travel and then end with "oh yeah - it was basically all a dream." What a disappointment! That's why we carefully screen all our inventory to ensure *you* end up with the New product happy-ending you were expecting.
While the technology employed by this item is decidedly advanced, we can confirm that it was not covertly designed by the Cylons as a backdoor into our global defense systems. If you have any other grave concerns about this item, please let us know.
We're heading back in time for a bit to ensure the machines don't win. If you need help with the WatchGuard WG50020 (or anything else) and find we're already gone, just leave us a note and make sure to write down the exact date and time. When we pop back in to the present we'll check the date and time on your note and zip straight back to the moment you wrote it to assist you. Isn't technology great?
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