We did have to cut a deal with the Morlocs to procure the 01-ssc-8769 by Sonicwall. Don't worry - it only cost us a couple of warehouse workers.
As part of a new initiative we've decided to begin sending our products round-trip to one of the Mars colonies to confirm they can make the journey and return safely in New condition (they can!). We had trouble finding volunteers, though, so we had to convince one of our guys he was actually a secret agent on the run and in grave danger. We're sure he'll be totally OK with that once he figures it out.
We did have one customer report that the use of this item resulted in the creation of a rune-covered circular portal capable of connecting our world to others. Unfortunately, the "portal" turned out to be nothing more than an oversized inner-tube in the guy's backyard swimming pool. Please feel free to reach out to us with any concerns *you* may have.
We're heading back in time for a bit to ensure the machines don't win. If you need help with the Sonicwall 01-ssc-8769 (or anything else) and find we're already gone, just leave us a note and make sure to write down the exact date and time. When we pop back in to the present we'll check the date and time on your note and zip straight back to the moment you wrote it to assist you. Isn't technology great?
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