The 5330 / 50005804 by Mitel comes to us directly from Tau Ceti Center, the very heart of the WorldWeb. Rumor has it that it was transported directly here by the sole survivor of the Time Tombs pilgrimage. We think that last part sounds a bit far fetched, though - who encounters the Shrike and lives to tell about it?
We've run this thing through the transporter array a few times and can confirm that it is in fact New, and not infected with any foreign alien matter. That's what they tell us down in engineering, anyway. We really should check in with those guys to see if they've resolved their Tribble problem.
We did have one customer report that the use of this item resulted in the creation of a rune-covered circular portal capable of connecting our world to others. Unfortunately, the "portal" turned out to be nothing more than an oversized inner-tube in the guy's backyard swimming pool. Please feel free to reach out to us with any concerns *you* may have.
We're heading back in time for a bit to ensure the machines don't win. If you need help with the Mitel 5330 / 50005804 (or anything else) and find we're already gone, just leave us a note and make sure to write down the exact date and time. When we pop back in to the present we'll check the date and time on your note and zip straight back to the moment you wrote it to assist you. Isn't technology great?
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