The 326223-0080 by Bose comes to us directly from Tau Ceti Center, the very heart of the WorldWeb. Rumor has it that it was transported directly here by the sole survivor of the Time Tombs pilgrimage. We think that last part sounds a bit far fetched, though - who encounters the Shrike and lives to tell about it?
So we had this crazy dream last night that everything we believed to be real was instead a figment of our imagination promulgated by an advanced race of artificially intelligent robots who were harvesting us for our brain power. Then we woke up on the floor of our warehouse where - thankfully - everything was still very real, shiny, and New. Guess we should have taken the blue pill last night.
Unfortunately this item is most certainly *not* capable of warping space-time, so we don't think you'll be using it to travel at superluminal velocities any time soon. We would, however, be happy to tell you what else it can do - just ask!
We've just had some troubling news from the Night's Watch. We'll be atop The Wall if you need any further assistance with the Bose 326223-0080 (or anything else!).
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