You wouldn't believe what we had to go through to get our hands on the AP9850 by APC. Let's just say it involved a pair of ambiguously amorous FBI agents, their chain-smoking and conspiratorially corrupt superior, and suspicion of extra terrestrial activity. Just our typical day at the office!
So we had this crazy dream last night that everything we believed to be real was instead a figment of our imagination promulgated by an advanced race of artificially intelligent robots who were harvesting us for our brain power. Then we woke up on the floor of our warehouse where - thankfully - everything was still very real, shiny, and New. Guess we should have taken the blue pill last night.
While the technology employed by this item is decidedly advanced, we can confirm that it was not covertly designed by the Cylons as a backdoor into our global defense systems. If you have any other grave concerns about this item, please let us know.
We're heading back in time for a bit to ensure the machines don't win. If you need help with the APC AP9850 (or anything else) and find we're already gone, just leave us a note and make sure to write down the exact date and time. When we pop back in to the present we'll check the date and time on your note and zip straight back to the moment you wrote it to assist you. Isn't technology great?
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